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We need much more for a strong, healthy marriage, and it’s all too easy to be blinded to a person’s bad character or incompatibility by infatuation.I recently heard a man admit he’d married a beautiful ‘trophy wife’ and, years later, is being driven mad by her lack of intelligence and conversation (and that’s not her fault – the poor woman is who she is; he created his own misery – and hers – by marrying someone incompatible just because she was a stunner).‘I’m dating a nice Christian guy who I like and respect,’ said the email (so far, so good – however, I hear a ‘but’ coming). Or as a Christian, does God expect me to be less shallow? I know there are more important things in a relationship, but shouldn’t there be some spark?Take a look at the following verses: “Greet one another with a holy kiss.All the churches of Christ send greetings.” (Romans ) “All the brothers here send you greetings.If I don’t find a partner, I don’t know if I can live like this for the rest of my life.’ My heart broke at my friend’s words.

But when it comes to picking a husband or wife, I don’t believe we should feel guilty for wanting to be attracted to them. Of course, sexual attraction (which isn’t the same as good looks – I’ve been wildly attracted to some positively plain men in my time) isn’t everything.

‘Three years ago, a colleague placed her hands over my eyes as a joke,’ shared one of my Facebook followers.

‘I still remember it because physical contact is so rare for me.

Touch is a basic human need but unless you have tactile friends and family, or you’re in a ‘huggy’ church, single Christians can go months or even years without any significant touch.

This can be incredibly painful and emotionally damaging, especially if physical affection is one of your top ‘love languages’.




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